Talking eyes

I had forgotten how expressive eyes can be. I am quickly reminded on my walk in search for food on my first day here. Two European women walk slightly ahead of me, both in heels and short skirts… (didn’t the guidebook say to dress demurely?) I observe a couple of waiters taking in the women’s exposed skin… hmmm would that I could inspire such lust ...

But the expressive eyes do not speak only of lust. I have seen hard eyes, here. Eyes I had previously only seen on the marines at US Consulates/Embassies, and UN Security personnel (especially when their wakubwa are in the vicinity). The tourism and antiquities police have the hardest eyes I’ve seen in a while. Totally understandable though, given their geographic location and their circumstances.

Suggestive eyes… I first see them when my Sudanese neighbor on the plane tells the air hostess: “you do it for me”, referring to her lowering the food tray for him. The muslim call to prayer and supplications sent up to God sound so compelling, mind wanders to imagining love-making in Arabic… a la Jill Scot’s “how many ways was God called”. The Sudanese guy’s helplessness/command leads my mind down another avenue… that of giving in to the command… power pleasure derived from waiting hand and foot on someone you choose to do it for. Submission… with benefits. Sit a guy down, tell him “sit back, let me treat you like the king I choose to see you as you are… let me treat you to:______________(insert your name here), the hand and foot maid”.

Belly dancing outfits look so seductive, I start to picture myself in them (happily ignoring that I need several weeks of faithful running before I can like the way it’ll look on me). Something about this place that puts one in the mind of intimate secrets and has one wanting to be admitted into that world of wild eyed pleasure…

All dashed against the cold hard rock of reality when a conversation about Egyptian sex life reveals that FGM is rampant here, and that it contributes to no fun in the marital bed… so women focus on childbearing and child rearing (and before you jump down my throat, folk can, and do have a great marital bed life and still focus on child bearing and child rearing) while men walk their hungry eyes over exposed flesh wherever they find it.

A discussion on sexuality isn’t complete without mention of same-gender love. There’s even a website on it, how to identify one another, best pick up points, who are the difficult groups, etc. What does government say about it? A large group was caught some time ago, all thrown into jail. A gay-rights activist group came over and managed to free them all. I’m told there is never a shortage of drama on the gay-lover front. E.g. a gay couple comes together on vacation, then the male man sees a woman or man that he fancies, and the female man gets upset and has a fight with manly man, or slits his own wrists. Love, relationships: challenging no matter what the color, creed, culture, or gender.

Hope’s spring in my breast receives a boost in volume a little later when I chat with another gentleman and our conversation is interrupted by a phone call. He returns looking energized, and reveals that he was speaking to his wife. He’s been married to the same woman for 30 years. She was his first and only love. On their 22^nd anniversary, he gave her a poem that told of their story… how they met and how they still thirst for one another’s presence, and rush home everyday, and how their 5 kids envy their relationship. Whenever he’s away from his wife, he can’t have his breakfast without first calling her to find out if she’s woken up well. And she can’t go to sleep before calling him to find out how his day was.

His parting words? Marriage is like a watermelon, you can knock it (melon, not marriage) all you want (to check for ripeness) but the proof is in the eating… is it sweet or not? You can date and ‘test drive’ ad nauseum, but marriage will bring a different dynamic to the relationship. That’s why it’s truly a gift from God (so if you’re not in good marriage, God hates you, yes?).