So… I’ve talked of returning home (for good – whatever that means) for a while, and decide the best course of action to take is to ship some of my stuff so that my mindset gets oriented in that direction. Besides, it’ll be so cool to a) sort out the mess that is my house by paring down to the bare necessities, b) have most of the stuff I care for back home when I go home for the holidays. A couple of things drive me to consider air cargo’ing the lighter items: once wanted to send someone home with stuff. She declined and mentioned that I could air cargo it for a very affordable amount; then a year ago, a Kenyan returning home air cargo’d stuff and she was full of nothing but praises about it.
So I call KQ to find out how much it’ll cost me. They refer me to their agent. In the meantime, I’ve met a Kenyan dude who also does this, but his quotes are more expensive than the agent, and he sounds a tad too busy and inaccessible. The KQ-sanctioned agent has an office and says all I need do is show up with my stuff during working hours… cargo guy says “we’ll send someone to you” and the someone is not always available when I am good and ready to send stuff.
When I have finally put the last bit of tape on the cartons, put the last lock on the suitcase, and a tie-end on those global sack-bags, I pack them all into my car, and follow directions to the shipping agent’s. Soon as I get there, someone takes my keys, empties the car of the baggage and off they go to weigh it. The price for freight is calculated, I give addresses and phone numbers, list of items contained in baggage, pay the amount, and take off to wait for a call that gives me the air way bill number. This will allow me to track down the shipment at the airport. Very effortless, quick and to the point. I ask them what I need to do on the Kenyan side, they say just show up at the airport cargo terminal with waybill number and claim your stuff.
Because I totally enjoy accentuating the positive (sheit will happen, so why not look on the positive side all the time? How else will you get your endorphins into the blood stream if you’re doom and gloom and doubt?) I believe them. I call right before I take off on KQ to Nairobi, and get the waybill number and the flight number. I am told that’s all I need, and when I can expect the shipment to arrive. It will arrive over the weekend, so it makes most sense to go to the cargo terminal on the Monday.
I have a brilliant weekend, stuffing my face (and packing back the tyres I’d been trying so hard to reduce) with the usual: chips kuku, chips na sausage, nyam chom, ugali na mala, ugali na sukumas, chapos, tea with masala… you get the drift.
Come Monday, I’m on Citi Hoppa to the airport. I get to the KQ yard, they can’t find that number on their computers. They suggest I try the other two yards: swissport and siginon. I find the shipment at the 2nd yard I try, only to be told that the papers were taken by a company of evil hijackers-of-shipments called Freight in Time. I’m directed to FiT which is within the cargo complex. I get there to claim my papers, and the fellow tells me I can only get the papers (which will allow me to liberate my personal effects) after I pay him Ksh. 3,200. What? Yes, I need to pay a break bulk fee, because my shipment came consolidated (as opposed to it being sent solo), was addressed to them, so I have to pay a fee for their ‘breaking it up’. In the process, they ask me if I have a clearing agent… because I will need one… I can’t clear things without an agent’s help. I decline. They’re personal effects, used, all duty free items! I am apoplectic at the thought of paying KSh. 3,200 for nothing I can see, so I decide that, really, I don’t need this aggravation today. I return to town to build strength for the inevitable fight for my papers tomorrow.
By an interesting twist of fate, I run into clearing agents in town and take the opportunity to ask about that break bulk fee. Their response? “iko mikono mingi huko airport” (there are many hands at the airport) and this hijacking of shipments by agents is common. In future, I am advised, make sure you specify that you want your shipment sent solo, no agents involved, OR, make sure you have an agent assigned to the shipment.
The following morning I find out that evil hijacker paid just KSh. 1,270 for the documents, and I demand to know why I’m being charged more than double the amount, especially ‘cause all he’s done is touch the documents… the shipment is still in the yard! A lot of back and forth… I decide to give in because I don’t have time to draw this out… I need the things in the shipment pronto, and honestly, who wants to prolong suffering with annoying and evil bastards like Freight in Time! I pay the amount and tell them “if this is what will make you rich, fine!” Water off a duck’s back…they could care less… long as they make their cut. And to make the experience extra special, more threats about how I’ll have a hard time if I don’t hire a clearing agent, and how it’s best to send shipments consolidated, not solo. Apparently when you send them solo (thereby denying them a chance to touch your documents and charge you 200% of the actual charge) they usually get lost (something disputed by other clearing folk, as well as folk in the yard who say solo shipments make it to their owners intact).
After the (millionth) clearing threat, I call the agents I met yesterday, and they kindly send me “leg-man” (cost: very reasonable). Clearing your personal effects (in person) is a study. In patience. You will see minutes, hours, days of your life ticking by, as you move from desk to desk; yard to yard; officer to officer. I quickly agree that a clearing agent is absolutely necessary, if only to save the last few tufts of hair on your head from your frustration-fueled clawing hands. There is a handling fee you need to pay the airport, Ksh. 250. This amount can only be paid if you a) have a pin number (tax number registered at Kenya Revenue Authority - KRA), b) if you have an agent (who has a pin number). This amount is paid after the customs agent has verified and approved the duty-free status of your goods. This amount, is only payable to an office in the KQ building before 3pm when this office closes. After that, you have to pay it at the National Bank branch at the passenger terminal. In order for customs to release the goods into your waiting arms, it has to reflect on their computers. When I find this out, I think “hurray for Kenya, we’re finally in the computer age”, the chaser thought? "but will all the phone lines and servers be up and running so that National Bank can tell KRA you’ve paid, and KRA’s account can be reflected on the custom officer’s computer by the time you drive back to the cargo terminal?"
Alas! It hasn’t reflected yet, but the clearing dude uses the receipt from bank, plus the old dependable “but si you know our company? And we’re always here?” and I can finally free my stuff. After an entire 6 hours of my life spent at the cargo terminal and learning a great deal about the other side of the airport, my stuff is liberated, and we go home together.
How dare I forget to mention that in the search for approval, at around 12.30, we are at the third yard, and the officer there says he wouldn’t clear it, because the note on the paper is addressed to “bigger people” than he. We have to go to the KQ yard where the “bigger people” sit. This pronouncement occurs at lunchtime, and we know it’s a waste of time to go look for “bigger people” during lunch hour. We detour to the police canteen. A wonderful and affordable (KSh. 130) lunch, choice of rice or ugali with sukumas, beans, ng’ombe, kuku. And they are not stingy with the helpings. In the queue, I ask the policeman ahead of me whether he’s airport police (conversation). He turns and smiles, flashing the most beautiful set of teeth I have seen in a while. He says yes. And adds, “we’re waiting for a return of the Artur brothers… they caught us unaware last time. Next time…we’ll be ready… never again”. We chit chat a bit more, then go our separate ways to enjoy the canteen’s offerings.
Two o’clock is here and we’re get caught in yet another Nairobi ‘jam’ (usually caused by ppl who think they’re cleverer than those wanting to respect what is right). The officers at the KQ yard are in a meeting… after they emerge from the meeting, the “bigger person” refuses to endorse the document, sending us back to the first guy. Leg-man says that this time I need to come with him. We enter the room (after waiting for 2 others to be served – while waiting, a guy comes into the stuffy, crowded office and tells one of the ladies working on the computer “wekeni fan” (put a fan in here) to circulate the air. Her response? “si utoke inje” (feel free to go outside – into the fresh and circulating air there). Kenyans? Gotta love us.
The officer says to leg-man “so you’re back… and you’ve brought a mrembo (woman) with you”, as he looks me over. Leg-man says “the shipment first… mrembo later”. Officer examines my passport, wants to know how long I’ve been away, times I’ve been home, duration of my visits… I respond. He seems disappointed that he hasn’t found a basis to decline my application, and reluctantly endorses the documents. We race back to the other yard (time is of the essence now because they close at 4.30pm). We screech in on time, and I finally have my things.
Lessons learned? As you allow the thought of air cargoing your stuff home to form in your mind, please, please, see an agent. Don’t believe them (on the ‘developed country’ side) when they tell you there will be no costs on the Kenyan side. Make sure you keep aside at least KSh. 6,000 to 9,000 to spend on this side… all dependent on agent fees and the type of things being cargo’d. There’s a charge (I paid KSh. 985) to be paid to the yard… for something or other (in addition to the KSh. 250 paid to government). If it takes you longer than 72hrs to clear your goods and take possession of them, there’s a daily storage charge. And it racks up very quickly. One of the yard ladies told me of a young girl who had cargo’d some stuff home, and she didn’t go to the airport right away (said in the spirit of “at least you’re lucky you’ve come right away”). She had to find KSh. 80,000 to liberate her goods. If you’d like the name/contact of a non-evilFiTtype agent, see me kando. Good luck.
