Love the one you’re with

(Follow up to “I think…”)

I’ve recently realized the truth in Luther’s exhortation: “if you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with”. I have chosen to love ‘the one I’m with’… (can't believe it took me this long to realize this life truth!)

Believe me, you are nowhere near as surprised as I am. I’ve always fancied myself the idealist, one who would sooner drive a stake through her own heart than succumb to the settle-for-less syndrome. (Un)fortunately, no stake is handy, so I’ve had to get real philosophical about this decision.

Banished are the dizzy, frivolous dreams of love and happily-ever-after. In their place is the resolve to make the best of this. After all, ‘the one I love’ cares nothing for me, has never shown any consideration or appreciation, teases and toys with me, and just never delivers. Robert Greene wasn’t kidding when he said “the moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken”.

‘The one I’m with’, however, cares deeply, and appreciates me. ‘The one I’m with’ supports me in any decision I make, and provides opportunities that make my mind boggle at the possibilities.

Granted, ‘the one I’m with’ is nothing like ‘the one I love’. He has not the wit, the manliness, the imagination, or the beauty of ‘the one I love’…. But he has what is most important: he’s available, willing and able. Tell me again why I should chase after fleeting mirages when I have a very real pot of gold before me?

So here I go, becoming someone I had vowed never to become, one of those women who says “you never really get the one you want”. But then again, who said I had to map out every road I take? Let me go down this unchartered path… who knows? it may lead to the adventure and fulfillment I long for… hope springs eternal in this human breast.